Dez Sez
I have always had an insatiable desire to know what's beyond knowing, to be what's beyond being, and to think what is beyond thinking.
#Imworkinonit
LOVELOVELOVE
I do nothing... and leave nothing undone
Welcome to DEZCLOSURE.
Let's Get To Know Me... Together
Part 1 - Tail Spin
I realize no one really knows what or who I am, not even my family or close friends. Only on the surface. Questions like, 'Where did I get my name? Is the alien encounter stuff true? Did I really die during this lifetime? What’s with the Native American connection'? This is by design. Now that I’ve completed my training as a 39 Year Initiate I’m told that I have to begin disclosing things; I'm not exactly thrilled by this instruction. A 39 year initiate is, among other things, a soul that has agreed to incarnate in this realm in order to alter collective karmic positioning; or more easily stated, I agreed to get my ass kicked in about every way possible for 39 years in order to learn, transform, transmute and grow exponentially, while assisting in the collective upliftment.
Before I get too far in the weeds I need to let you know where I am currently and what has been going on with me in the recent past. Then eventually I would like to go back to the beginning and walk through this together.
In 2021, after a lifelong spiritual process, my soul finally shattered; a necessary occurrence of a shaman 2.0., not that I would ever claim to be or identify as a shaman; I am merely a hollow bone. The process of soul shattering was the cumulative effect of several life events placed on top of what had occurred 2 years prior.
While taking care of my father in Iowa in 2019, just 3 weeks before he died, I found out he had been sexually assaulted by a priest when he was a boy. How I found out was almost more shocking. A sheriffs department visit followed days later with a search warrant. All just a couple weeks before he would be gone forever. I never knew too much about my dad because he left my mother and her 3 kids when I was 6 yrs old. But now a few of the missing puzzle pieces were put in place, and my life made a little more sense. At first the police tried to implicate me in this despicable situation, insinuating my involvement which I quickly and emphatically denounced. Then at one point I literally took over the interrogation and watched the deputy sink back further allowing me to continue. I was in an indescribable amount of shock and pain and I wanted some fucking answers. Nothing I heard was acceptable.
After the search warrant was complete my father was not arrested but was sure he would be soon. And this from a dying man who was already losing his ability to see or to walk. The scene was horrendous. I was beside myself with grief and completely heart broken. I’m not going to go any further with any more details of this story for now. It did however send me on a frenzied path of researching the church, pedophilia, human sex trafficking and systemic corruption.
The reason I bring this up is because in my disillusionment I fell off the wagon hard core resorting to my old coping mechanism of being anesthetized. I ran a game on the hospice people to get as many drugs as I could before he died, which would last me quite awhile, and began drinking heavily which lasted for about 8 months.
Somehow, I regained my composure and made it back to California to finish the ‘Dezert Rocket’ album I released in 2021. Remind me to tell you about going on the Bulldozer Death Walk, another ceremony I endured prior to completing the record. The good news is after I ran out of oxy’s, benzos and whatever else I was on, I quit drinking and using in May 2020. Hopefully for the rest of this life. Yo soy cuatro veinte solamente.
Since 2021, I’ve made some significant changes. I now have a lifestyle that includes daily somatic practices like deep breathing exercises and meditation, while continuing my yoga and fitness training. I became celibate in 2022 which helped to improve my thought process and inter dimensional connectivity, and I’ve gone into study of theosophical, shamanic and other esoteric practices.
I’m going to close it here. I look forward to begin telling you about things that have yet to be written about in books, and a life that would seem like a fictional story. I’ll try to keep it clean.
Keep Living Life Like It’s Your Last. All My Relations.
P.S. I think my next story should be much more light hearted, so I’ll tell you about the time my drunken father took my brother and I stunt flying in our private airplane when I was 9. He may have been blacked out because he never remembered it. One of my best memories ever! We landed good lol. Should explain my lifelong need for an adrenaline rush.
LOVELOVELOVE, Dez
DEZCLOSURE - Part 2
ZERO GRAVITY
I began flying in small aircraft when I was very young when my father and mother became co-owner of a Cessna 152-B with their friends Don and Mona.
Flying was a very tumultuous experience for me as a youngster because I was prone to air sickness as well as extreme changes in air pressure, especially when we had to climb over a storm. The Cessna 152-B does not have a pressurized cabin. I thought for sure many times that my head would implode. This created my very first great inner-conflict because I loved flying and being far from the surface of Earth, but I knew that some version of pain awaited. As I got older, the air sickness went away and I gained the ability to pop my ears at will by moving my jaw, relieving me of changing air pressure instantly. Flying eventually just became fun for me.
In an unexpected twist of fate, when my father bounced and left his family when I was young, my brother Bil and I soon became the recipients of many material blessings from a guilt laden father who was often inebriated. There were also other perks to our new situation, like the time he took us stunt flying when I was 9. My father may not have been thinking clearly.
Ok. First things first; the pre-flight check. I knew that. I was already a veteran aviator in my mind by that time. But, before we could board the aircraft I realized I was already learning my first lesson of the event.
LESSON # 1: the funnier dad is, the less important the pre-flight check becomes. After a make-shift hurried inspection, we board the bird, the tower clears us for take-off, and up, up and away we go! The first phase of our mission was to get clear from visual recognition from anyone at the airport, especially the control tower. Phase 1 complete.
So here’s the deal. The idea was to climb to an altitude where we had plenty of area between ourselves and Earth, probably between .75 and 1.5 kilometers, upon which my dad or older brother would launch a roll of toilet paper out of the cockpit. Immediately after release of the ‘chase object’, we performed an extremely hard bank-and-dive in pursuit of our target. We never fully rolled, but it often felt like we were going to. The idea was simply to track the object and collide with it and the propeller with the goal being to make confetti; and even at my age this seemed a bit off-center, even for a noteworthy goofball like the prodigal pilot, but it didn’t matter to me because this was my kind of party and I was all in!
LESSON # 2: ZERO GRAVITY After the first couple of dives and subsequent pursuits I quickly realized how restrictive and encumbering wearing a seatbelt was. It was killin’ my buzz! I could really catch some air without it. With my father hyper-focused on flying the aircraft and me being in one of the rear seats, I picked my spot to release the restraint. I was soon on my first astronaut training mission. I couldn’t believe how long I would float in mid-air! And the level of euphoria was beyond measure. But this was still covert, because if the pilot found out it could be curtains for the kid. After repeated exhilaration placed me firmly on cloud 9 an unexpected dive threw me to the top of the cabin. I quickly changed my tune and put my seat belt back on. After one of the best times any 9 year old kid could have, we landed without incident, as usual.
While staying with my father during his final days I began telling him the story and recounting what a memory it was for me. My dad interrupted and said, “ I took you and your brother up when I used to do that”? Puzzled, I said “ya”. He said, “I never knew that”.
Thanks again alcohol. We couldn’t have done it without you.
*** actual photograph *** Cessna November 2-7-3-3 Delta ***
What my bandmate Johnny and I saw that night would profoundly and almost assuredly change the course of our lives. Johnny would go on to become a film maker, and in the 2016 sci-fi motion picture ‘No Good Heroes’ that he wrote and directed, Johnny references dates and details from our encounter in his film. The day after our encounter the national news reported witnesses across 5 states seeing or experiencing a similar event, which the U.S. government claimed to be an off course Russian weather satellite. Good one Gov.
I started playing bars and clubs before it was legal for me to drink. After a year or so I became the lead vocalist of the band Xeno. Our guitar player had a gold album to his credit which made the booking agent happy and kept us very busy. Johnny played bass.
*** IMPORTANT NOTE *** I would have no problem disclosing the date of this encounter but I recently found out that the most googled thing about me is “what is Dez’ age?” lol and I wouldn’t want to spoil anyone’s fun, so if you want to know the year that this happened as referenced in the film, go watch Johnny’s movie! Here’s how I remember it.
Our agent booked us in Wright City, Missouri for a one nighter and Johnny and I were behind the club on the back porch having a smoke before our first set. I remember our attention being drawn to the sky simultaneously. What we saw was remarkable. Three gigantic spheres of an incandescent yellow-orange color in perfect 45 degree alignment glowing in the September night. Each craft was in my estimation around 60-80 meters in diameter, traveling silently at extremely low altitude (less than 300 meters) and moving incredibly slow. They were right above our heads! We looked at each other, and without saying a word we took off in a mad dash in the parking lot to his car! Fuck the gig, we got UFO’s!! We flew out of the lot and started following them. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I can tell you how long we followed them; it was about 10 minutes because when we turned around and went back to the club our bandmates told us we were over 20 minutes late.
The craft were like little super moons gently and slowly cruising just above Earth’s surface. And the 45 degree positioning and distance between all three looked perfectly exact. I think they were biologic. The craft. I think the craft’s themselves were alive, and most likely piloted by the beings inside. There were no windows, doors, markings; they emanated such a rich glow, so huge and majestic, and made not so much as a whisper.
We kept up with them so they couldn’t have been going very fast and rarely lost sight of them behind the trees and hilly terrain. Johnny was doing the driving so my eyes were glued to the conveyances the entire time. You know, in that first 10 minutes we were both so captured in awe and amazement I don’t think we spoke 2 words. But we sure made up for it on the way back.
I knew for a fact they knew we were following them. You might say an inner connectivity or gnosis. You could just tell they knew. Near the end of our encounter I think we got too close for their comfort and they either cloaked or went hyperspace or whatever because it looked like they disappeared in a split second with the slightest wisp of a trail. No hills, no buildings, no trees in the way. They were just gone.
When we got back to the club our embarrassed bandmates told us the club owner was mad and wtf? So we quickly got on stage. But before we could start playing I got on the mic and started explaining to the crowd, and our bandmates, what Johnny and I had just witnessed! The backlash was immediate. People were yelling all sorts of things; I remember "sure you’re gonna see UFO’s when you’re out in the parking lot gettin stoned", and stuff like 'shut up spaceman and play some music'. It was actually pretty damn funny. It was also kind of interesting that after that night, we almost avoided talking about it. Johnny and me. Like we were both unable to express what we now possessed.
Just one more thing. There are no coincidences.
DEZCLOSURE - Part 3
LOWER EARTH ORBIT
LOVELOVELOVE